I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.

No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness. They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’!

Did I mention we have comfy chairs? I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!

All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?

No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister. I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.

  1. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time!
  2. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks!
  3. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff.

The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME!

  • You’ve swallowed a planet!
  • You hit me with a cricket bat.
  • It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.

I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?

Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.

No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.

I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister.

I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness. No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister.

Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.

You’ve swallowed a planet! You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? Saving the world with meals on wheels. Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today.

It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister.

No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.